What do David James, Jimmy Bullard, Sol Campbell and George Boateng all have in common Well. all have been close to joining Celtic this summer but ultimately haven’t. Campbell joined Newcastle, Boateng left for Greece to play for Skoda Xanthi and Jimmy Bullard has stayed, for now, at Hull City.

The one that is particularly offensive to Scottish football and Celtic is David James’ choosing to join Championship club Bristol City over Celtic. His reasoning seemed feeble to many. In his press conference he stated:

“I know all about the plans for a new stadium and desire to win promotion to the Premier League. The club is ambitious and that’s what I am. The South West has not had a club in the Premier League and that needs to change.”

For a start, the South West does not “need” a club in the Premiership. Pakistan needs aid after their massive floods, North Korea needs regime change. If we are honest, Ashton Gate playing hosts to Everton once a year won’t really change anything now, will it

Of course one admires James’ desire to alter the geographical structure of the Premier League, but it always has been top-heavy in favor of the North; Liverpool, Manchester United, Manchester City, Blackburn, Bolton, Blackpool and Everton are fairly close together in a cluster in the North of England.  

The simple truth, which was shown also by Robbie Blakes’ refusal of Rangers, is that the Old Firm can’t really offer much to a footballer since they don’t have the money to lure them to Glasgow. Stadiums, European football and loyal fan bases are all fine and well, but you can’t pay players with chants, can you

It might be a blessing Celtic didn’t sign James anyway. He is a bit of a liability, prone to the odd error and he is closer to retirement than Jamie Redknapp. Besides have you seen his latest hair-do Now that needs sorting out.

I am aware I put North Korean regime change in the same bracket as David James’ hair. It’s that bad. Imagine Scary Spice on a Sunday morning.