Welcome to Fergie Time, a new roundup/newsletter type deal that delivers news, opinion and links directly to your screen, plus made-up quotes, knee-jerk reactions and awards that don’t really exist. As the name suggests, there will be some exaggeration, nsfw moments, canceled press conferences (oh, who are we kidding) and late, late, late scoring of points. You’ll like it, trust me.

HOORAY HENRY

The Liverpool ownership saga is over. Mostly. Tom Hicks and George Gillett have lost the legal battle, and so the sale of Liverpool FC to New England Sports Ventures (aka the Boston Red Sox people) is now signed, sealed, delivered and posted on Liverpool’s website. It’s bad news for newspaper editors, who can no longer enjoy the cost-saving measure of republishing the business pages in the sports section, but good news for Liverpool fans who will be understandably relieved.

However… Tom Hicks is about as happy as a man who just lost around £140m, and so he isn’t isn’t going quietly. Hicks is blaming “the British establishment” (does he mean Queen Liz) for the sale and is threatening to sue for… wait for it… one point six billion dollars. Presumably he demanded that figure with his little finger in his mouth.

I’m happy for Liverpool fans. But I’m hoping there’s a little caution in their cheers. Seems that new owner John W. Henry is being greeted as a hero, mostly because he’s not Tom Hicks (or George Gillett). That’s a pretty good qualification to have right now, but I’m thinking Liverpool fans shouldn’t start celebrating too much too soon. Let’s see what Henry does next.

IN OTHER NEWS:

The players of Liverpool Football Club will play an actual football match against the players from Everton Football Club tomorrow. In terms of pre-match build up and actual on-field news, this has to be the most ignored Meseyside derby in the history of Red and Blue. I’m half-expecting Monday’s match reports to focus on the financial implications, analyzing how Fernando Torres shooting will impact fourth quarter profits and why Glen Johnson’s defensive positioning could adversely affect Liverpool’s share price.

SIZE DOESN’T MATTER:

No, England drawing 0-0 with Montenegro at Wembley was not a good result. But it wasn’t the apocalypse either. I foolishly listened to BBC’s 606 Football Phone-In (Moan-In) after the game, where the first caller used up the BBC’s annual quota of the word “disgrace” in less than three minutes.

The rest of the show was devoted to everyone agreeing that a country the size of England (population 51 million) should always always always be able to beat a country the size of Montenegro (population 600,000). By that logic, England should always lose heavily to China (1.3 billion and rising) and India (1.1 billion), but should beat smaller countries like the Netherlands (16.5 million) comfortably.

THE QUOTE THAT COULD CAUSE TROUBLE:

“I’ve had no problems with my ankle all season. None. I’ve been training for the last two months. I haven’t missed a training session, so there’s no problem with my fitness.” – Wayne Rooney.

This will not go down well with Alex Ferguson, who left Rooney out for a couple of recent games, citing said ankle injury. So Fergie is a liar who’s misleading the press, right Maybe, except when Rooney subbed out of the Manchester United’s 2-2 draw with Bolton late last month, he could be seen sitting on the bench with an ice pack on his ankle. The plot thickens.

AWARDS:

Best undiscovered talent: LA Galaxy captain and USA attacker Landon Donovan, whose deadpan unhappiness in this FIFA 11 commercial deserves an Oscar. I guess if you spend that long in L.A. you’re going to pick up some tricks.

Most pro-active health food advocate: US women’s national team striker Abby Wambach, who struck a shot during the warm up that knocked some over-priced junk food out of a fan’s hands. “Go buy some salad!”, she didn’t shout to the guy afterwards.

Craziest fan of the week: Not the idiots who got the Italy vs Serbia game abandoned. They’re not fans. The craziest and most dedicated fan of the week has to be Atletico Nacional supporter Felipe Alvarez, who had an entire team jersey tattooed onto his torso, complete with a #2 on the back to honour Andres Escobar, the popular Atletico Nacional defender who was murdered just days after scoring an own goal at the ’94 World Cup. The obvious question is: Will Alvarez get his tattoo updated when Atletico Nacional release their new kits

PODCAST:

In the latest episode of 3 Up Front, the boys discuss Wayne Rooney, England, Serbia and more. They also interview Studs Up creator Chris Toy, asking Chris where he gets the inspiration for his football web comics. Listen to the episode nine, and then subscribe via iTunes to receive future episodes.

FANTASY FOOTBALL:

Everyone has a football fantasy. Mine is to win some more money on the Soccerlens Fantasy Football Game. There’s between $40 and $200 in prize money available each week. Take a look at the top assist makers in the Premier League before picking your team.

FINALLY, DON’T FORGET:

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