The daily news update was missing yesterday as I plunged headfirst into (un)wittingly offending legions of fans from Manchester City, Newcastle and Chelsea. Spurs and Arsenal fans jumped in too for the fun of it (although the Gunners may have a point).

Anyway, enough of that nonsense. It’s crunch time this weekend, as it is every other weekend, so let’s get on with the news, shall we

Football News Headlines

1. Sunderland are Roy Keane is coming home

I saw the last 30 minutes of Sunderland vs Burnley last night, and for a while the game seemed a crappier version of Chelsea and Newcastle slugging it out at St James’ Park (except it was at the Stadium of Light). But then, Keano’s influence on the team started to show and Sunderland began attacking with verve, until an excellent counter-attacking move allowed Carlos Edwards some space and a tight angle from outside the box at the end of his run. He duly obliged with a scorcher into the top corner and Sunderland, at the moment, you knew, had a foot in the Premiership.

Sunderland had 3 other good chances to score, but at this point a 3-2 result at home will do. If Derby draw their next game, Sunderland are through thanks to a superior goal difference even if they lose their last game. Sunderland should beat Luton though, so no worries there.

Here’s a link to the match analysis video, including goal replays.

2. Bolton without Allardyce

There’s a report in the Sun saying that Sam Allardyce will quit Bolton. For a moment, even if we know that the Sun is shit, consider this to be true. A couple of questions pop up.

One, who the hell will be the next Bolton manager Chris Coleman Steve McClaren (after he’s kicked out and replaced by Sam Allardyce) Stuart Pearce Glenn Roeder Kevin Nolan David Dein The possibilities are endless.

Two, where will Allardyce go England, Manchester City and Newcastle beckon. Of these, you can discount City.

Of course, the news is bogus. If / when Bolton secure European football, Big Sam will have money to spend to strengthen the squad. Why would he leave Europe for City Newcastle I’d understand, but Bolton is his project, leaving it at the brink of Europe is silliness.

3. Former Thai Prime Minister Wants Premiership Booty

He’s been linked with Liverpool and now he’s after Manchester City. Pretty soon Thaksin Shinawatra will be a household name in the Premiership and the Championship as he is linked with every single club / as he gets desperate to get his hands on the cash from the Prem’s new TV deal.

Wouldn’t City reject any Thai PM (former or not) because of political concerns Liverpool ditched the Arabs, right As crass as it sounds, Europeans and billionaire Americans only, please.

4. Paul Allen after Southampton

Southampton haven’t confirmed an approach, Paul’s reps have denied it, but the rumours persist.

Will Paul Allen buy Southampton

And if he does, will Gareth Bale be sold