Chris over at EPLTalk has paid someone to put together a list of the pitch sizes in the Premier League – not to be confused with other metrics of measuring a club’s superiority, such as title count, time spent playing in the top level, the relationship of your manager with your players, your transfer budget (or lack thereof) or the fact that you charge your fans through the nose to watch your team play like crap.

Anyway, over to EPLTalk:

Here are the top 20 pitches ranked in order of size. The large number after the size of the pitch is calculated by multiplying the length and width of the pitch (in yards):

1. Manchester City, City of Manchester Stadium, 116 x 77 yards, 8932

2. Manchester United, Old Trafford, 116 x 76 yards, 8816

3. Blackburn Rovers, Ewood Park, 115 x 76 yards, 8740

4. Everton, Goodison Park, 112 x 78 yards, 8736

5. Aston Villa, Villa Park, 114 x 75 yards, 8550

6. Middlesbrough, Riverside, 114 x 75 yards, 8550

7. Arsenal, Emirates Stadium, 114 x 74 yards, 8436

8. Derby County, Pride Park, 114 x 74 yards, 8436

9. Reading, Madjeski Stadium, 111 x 76 yards, 8436

10. Sunderland, Stadium of Light, 114 x 74 yards, 8436

11. Wigan Athletic, JJB Stadium, 114 x 74 yards, 8436

12. Portsmouth, Fratton Park, 115 x 73 yards, 8395

13. Chelsea, Stamford Bridge, 110 x 75 yards, 8250

14. Fulham, Craven Cottage, 110 x 75 yards, 8250

15. Liverpool, Anfield, 110 x 75 yards, 8250

16. Birmingham City, St. Andrews, 110 x 74 yards, 8140

17. Newcastle United, St. James’s Park, 110 x 73 yards, 8030

18. Tottenham Hotspur, White Hart Lane, 110 x 73 yards, 8030

19. Bolton Wanderers, Reebok Stadium, 110 x 72 yards, 7920

20. West Ham United, Boleyn Ground, 110 x 70 yards, 7700

Interesting facts:

Tottenham, Liverpool and Chelsea have small pitches. No, I’m not gloating. Honest. Newcastle United aren’t that well off.

Everton is the widest, West Ham the narrowest. Pompey, notorious for being a narrow ground, is only 3 yards narrower than Old Trafford. Am I being naive or is this really no difference

Highbury and Emirates are virtually the same size (110×73 to 114×74 – a yard’s increase in width and 4 yards longer – hardly cause for concern for Arsenal’s finest).

Manchester City are finally ahead of Manchester United in something.

Snide remarks about table positions apart, there’s not much else to talk about, is there I doubt that when Manchester City play Manchester United at Old Trafford (or when Manchester United visit Arsenal, Chelsea or Liverpool this season), the top visiting chant will be “We’ve got a bigger pitch than yours”…

Then again, these are City fans we’re talking about (oh come on