Football is one of the greatest things in the world but it’s not perfect. It used to be perfect. Before money and television and the Bosman ruling and Baby Bentleys and roastings and tattoos and takeovers and no standing and agents and prawn sandwiches and rotation.

English newspaper The Times takes a stab at the “50 Worst Things about Modern Football”. “It could have been 500” they add.

Without question, football as we know it experienced some sort of a genetic mutation of the last 20-30 years. And for the Times writers, the common denominator as the “root of all evil” seems to be… MONEY! What else

Indeed, the “European Champion Clubs’ Cup” sold out and became the “Champions League” (Nº3), with all the money-making evilness going along with it (“If you won the European Cup, you were the best team in Europe. If you win the Champions League, you owe someone £700 million.“). The FA Cup (Nº9), which used to be a competition where “milkmen” and “postmen” scored at Wembley stadium, has now turned into yet another money-making enterprise where a “bloke earning £100k a week wins a trophy he doesn’t give a $#!+ about“.

And what can be said about Transfer windows at Nº48 (“Going shopping twice a year wouldn’t work in real life and it doesn’t work in football.“) or Undisclosed transfer fees at Nº44 (“If you’re going to spend some of my hard-earned season ticket money on a player I’ve never heard of, I want to know how much he cost. I’m not interested in add-ons or projected fees. I just want a number. Any number will do.“) Further of moolah’s corrupting power.

But let’s take a break from the money-related stuff. Let’s consider things like fu**ing Squad numbers (Nº47) and auto-bloody-biographies (Nº48). Remember the days when the team’s best player was Nº10, goalkeepers were Nº1, and no number went beyond 30 Now watching the Premiership seems like watching an NFL game. Also, “Wayne Rooney has already written two books. That’s one more than he’s read.“. If only he could write as well as he could speak in front of a microphone (blame Media Training for that, Nº24)…. wait never mind.

Passing along Opinions (Nº18) and Internet message boards (Nº16) (“Rafa’s God. Rafa’s an idiot. Becks is past it. No, he’s not. Your team sucks, my team’s better.” etc.), as well as musical renditions we’ve all grown to hate (Nº22: Let Me Entertain You, Nº10: Goal celebration music), we eventually go back to the root of all evil: $$$. So what better than Kaká (Nº23, “If he’s not interested in money why do AC Milan have to pay him £173,000 a week) and Manchester City (Nº12, “The new Chelsea.“) to cap things off…

And THE worst thing about modern football according to Times writers Nº1: Television, because it is “the monster” that ate it all. Nuff said.

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Feel free to add more “WORST THINGS” about modern football in the comments below.

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	Nº50: Technical areas
	Did Bob Paisley need a technical area when Liverpool won three European Cups and six league titles? Did Alf Ramsey need a technical area when England won the World Cup? What’s so technical about a bit of grass and some white lines, anyway? Memo to all modern managers: Sit down and shut up.

Nº49: Motorway service stations
You pop in to go to the toilet and five minutes later you’ve bought a full-English breakfast for £18.99 and joined the AA.

	Nº48: Transfer windows
	Imagine if you could only do your shopping twice a year – once in January and then in June, July and August. What would happen? You’d have a fridge full of beer and you’d run out of toilet paper. It wouldn’t work in real life and it doesn’t work in football.

Nº47: Squad numbers
Remember the days when the best player was Nº10 and goalkeepers were Nº1? Not any more. Thanks to someone at the Premier League watching an American football game, players can have any number they want. George Bowyer is Rochdale’s Nº33, Ronaldinho is AC Milan’s Nº80 and William Gallas is Arsenal’s Nº10. Why?

	Nº46: Autobiographies
	There comes a time in every player’s life when he decides — or his agent tells him — to write his life story. A couple of interviews with a ghostwriter later and hey presto we have 200 pages of guff and absolutely zero interest from the book-buying public. Wayne Rooney has already written two books. That’s one more than he’s read.

Nº45: Craig Bellamy
He’s gobby, he’s played for 842 clubs, he’s covered in tattoos and he earns £90,000 a week. What’s not to like?

	Nº44: Undisclosed transfer fees
	If you’re going to spend some of my hard-earned season ticket money on a player I’ve never heard of, I want to know how much he cost. I’m not interested in add-ons or projected fees. I just want a number. Any number will do.

Nº43: Statistics
American obsession that is gradually weaving itself into the fabric of our national game. Do you care how many assists Wayne Rooney has this season? Do you care how many passes Steve Gerrard has completed in the final third? Do you care if Gareth Barry’s tackle win ratio has dropped off since Christmas? Thought not. There’s only one stat that matters. The score.

	Nº42: By mutual consent
	Three of the most meaningless words in the English language. Either the manager resigned or he was sacked. Just tell us the truth, we can handle it.

Nº41: Fans who complain when games are called off
Were little white things falling out of the sky when you walked to the car this morning? Was the pavement a bit slippery? If the answer to both these questions is yes, there’s a good chance the game’s going to be called off. It’s not the referee’s fault, it’s not the FA’s fault and it’s not the groundsman’s fault. Some things just weren’t meant to be.

Nº49: Motorway service stations
You pop in to go to the toilet and five minutes later you’ve bought a full-English breakfast for £18.99 and joined the AA.

Nº49: Motorway service stations
You pop in to go to the toilet and five minutes later you’ve bought a full-English breakfast for £18.99 and joined the AA.

Nº49: Motorway service stations
You pop in to go to the toilet and five minutes later you’ve bought a full-English breakfast for £18.99 and joined the AA.

Nº49: Motorway service stations
You pop in to go to the toilet and five minutes later you’ve bought a full-English breakfast for £18.99 and joined the AA.

Nº49: Motorway service stations
You pop in to go to the toilet and five minutes later you’ve bought a full-English breakfast for £18.99 and joined the AA.

Nº49: Motorway service stations
You pop in to go to the toilet and five minutes later you’ve bought a full-English breakfast for £18.99 and joined the AA.

Nº49: Motorway service stations
You pop in to go to the toilet and five minutes later you’ve bought a full-English breakfast for £18.99 and joined the AA.

Nº49: Motorway service stations
You pop in to go to the toilet and five minutes later you’ve bought a full-English breakfast for £18.99 and joined the AA.

Nº49: Motorway service stations
You pop in to go to the toilet and five minutes later you’ve bought a full-English breakfast for £18.99 and joined the AA.

Nº49: Motorway service stations
You pop in to go to the toilet and five minutes later you’ve bought a full-English breakfast for £18.99 and joined the AA.

	Nº48: Transfer windows
	Imagine if you could only do your shopping twice a year – once in January and then in June, July and August. What would happen? You’d have a fridge full of beer and you’d run out of toilet paper. It wouldn’t work in real life and it doesn’t work in football.

	Nº48: Transfer windows
	Imagine if you could only do your shopping twice a year – once in January and then in June, July and August. What would happen? You’d have a fridge full of beer and you’d run out of toilet paper. It wouldn’t work in real life and it doesn’t work in football.

	Nº48: Transfer windows
	Imagine if you could only do your shopping twice a year – once in January and then in June, July and August. What would happen? You’d have a fridge full of beer and you’d run out of toilet paper. It wouldn’t work in real life and it doesn’t work in football.

	Nº48: Transfer windows
	Imagine if you could only do your shopping twice a year – once in January and then in June, July and August. What would happen? You’d have a fridge full of beer and you’d run out of toilet paper. It wouldn’t work in real life and it doesn’t work in football.

	Nº48: Transfer windows
	Imagine if you could only do your shopping twice a year – once in January and then in June, July and August. What would happen? You’d have a fridge full of beer and you’d run out of toilet paper. It wouldn’t work in real life and it doesn’t work in football.

	Nº48: Transfer windows
	Imagine if you could only do your shopping twice a year – once in January and then in June, July and August. What would happen? You’d have a fridge full of beer and you’d run out of toilet paper. It wouldn’t work in real life and it doesn’t work in football.

	Nº48: Transfer windows
	Imagine if you could only do your shopping twice a year – once in January and then in June, July and August. What would happen? You’d have a fridge full of beer and you’d run out of toilet paper. It wouldn’t work in real life and it doesn’t work in football.

	Nº48: Transfer windows
	Imagine if you could only do your shopping twice a year – once in January and then in June, July and August. What would happen? You’d have a fridge full of beer and you’d run out of toilet paper. It wouldn’t work in real life and it doesn’t work in football.

	Nº48: Transfer windows
	Imagine if you could only do your shopping twice a year – once in January and then in June, July and August. What would happen? You’d have a fridge full of beer and you’d run out of toilet paper. It wouldn’t work in real life and it doesn’t work in football.

	Nº48: Transfer windows
	Imagine if you could only do your shopping twice a year – once in January and then in June, July and August. What would happen? You’d have a fridge full of beer and you’d run out of toilet paper. It wouldn’t work in real life and it doesn’t work in football.

Nº47: Squad numbers
Remember the days when the best player was Nº10 and goalkeepers were Nº1? Not any more. Thanks to someone at the Premier League watching an American football game, players can have any number they want. George Bowyer is Rochdale’s Nº33, Ronaldinho is AC Milan’s Nº80 and William Gallas is Arsenal’s Nº10. Why?

Nº47: Squad numbers
Remember the days when the best player was Nº10 and goalkeepers were Nº1? Not any more. Thanks to someone at the Premier League watching an American football game, players can have any number they want. George Bowyer is Rochdale’s Nº33, Ronaldinho is AC Milan’s Nº80 and William Gallas is Arsenal’s Nº10. Why?

Nº47: Squad numbers
Remember the days when the best player was Nº10 and goalkeepers were Nº1? Not any more. Thanks to someone at the Premier League watching an American football game, players can have any number they want. George Bowyer is Rochdale’s Nº33, Ronaldinho is AC Milan’s Nº80 and William Gallas is Arsenal’s Nº10. Why?

Nº47: Squad numbers
Remember the days when the best player was Nº10 and goalkeepers were Nº1? Not any more. Thanks to someone at the Premier League watching an American football game, players can have any number they want. George Bowyer is Rochdale’s Nº33, Ronaldinho is AC Milan’s Nº80 and William Gallas is Arsenal’s Nº10. Why?

Nº47: Squad numbers
Remember the days when the best player was Nº10 and goalkeepers were Nº1? Not any more. Thanks to someone at the Premier League watching an American football game, players can have any number they want. George Bowyer is Rochdale’s Nº33, Ronaldinho is AC Milan’s Nº80 and William Gallas is Arsenal’s Nº10. Why?

Nº47: Squad numbers
Remember the days when the best player was Nº10 and goalkeepers were Nº1? Not any more. Thanks to someone at the Premier League watching an American football game, players can have any number they want. George Bowyer is Rochdale’s Nº33, Ronaldinho is AC Milan’s Nº80 and William Gallas is Arsenal’s Nº10. Why?

Nº47: Squad numbers
Remember the days when the best player was Nº10 and goalkeepers were Nº1? Not any more. Thanks to someone at the Premier League watching an American football game, players can have any number they want. George Bowyer is Rochdale’s Nº33, Ronaldinho is AC Milan’s Nº80 and William Gallas is Arsenal’s Nº10. Why?

Nº47: Squad numbers
Remember the days when the best player was Nº10 and goalkeepers were Nº1? Not any more. Thanks to someone at the Premier League watching an American football game, players can have any number they want. George Bowyer is Rochdale’s Nº33, Ronaldinho is AC Milan’s Nº80 and William Gallas is Arsenal’s Nº10. Why?

Nº47: Squad numbers
Remember the days when the best player was Nº10 and goalkeepers were Nº1? Not any more. Thanks to someone at the Premier League watching an American football game, players can have any number they want. George Bowyer is Rochdale’s Nº33, Ronaldinho is AC Milan’s Nº80 and William Gallas is Arsenal’s Nº10. Why?

Nº47: Squad numbers
Remember the days when the best player was Nº10 and goalkeepers were Nº1? Not any more. Thanks to someone at the Premier League watching an American football game, players can have any number they want. George Bowyer is Rochdale’s Nº33, Ronaldinho is AC Milan’s Nº80 and William Gallas is Arsenal’s Nº10. Why?

	Nº46: Autobiographies
	There comes a time in every player’s life when he decides — or his agent tells him — to write his life story. A couple of interviews with a ghostwriter later and hey presto we have 200 pages of guff and absolutely zero interest from the book-buying public. Wayne Rooney has already written two books. That’s one more than he’s read.

	Nº46: Autobiographies
	There comes a time in every player’s life when he decides — or his agent tells him — to write his life story. A couple of interviews with a ghostwriter later and hey presto we have 200 pages of guff and absolutely zero interest from the book-buying public. Wayne Rooney has already written two books. That’s one more than he’s read.

	Nº46: Autobiographies
	There comes a time in every player’s life when he decides — or his agent tells him — to write his life story. A couple of interviews with a ghostwriter later and hey presto we have 200 pages of guff and absolutely zero interest from the book-buying public. Wayne Rooney has already written two books. That’s one more than he’s read.

	Nº46: Autobiographies
	There comes a time in every player’s life when he decides — or his agent tells him — to write his life story. A couple of interviews with a ghostwriter later and hey presto we have 200 pages of guff and absolutely zero interest from the book-buying public. Wayne Rooney has already written two books. That’s one more than he’s read.

	Nº46: Autobiographies
	There comes a time in every player’s life when he decides — or his agent tells him — to write his life story. A couple of interviews with a ghostwriter later and hey presto we have 200 pages of guff and absolutely zero interest from the book-buying public. Wayne Rooney has already written two books. That’s one more than he’s read.

	Nº46: Autobiographies
	There comes a time in every player’s life when he decides — or his agent tells him — to write his life story. A couple of interviews with a ghostwriter later and hey presto we have 200 pages of guff and absolutely zero interest from the book-buying public. Wayne Rooney has already written two books. That’s one more than he’s read.

	Nº46: Autobiographies
	There comes a time in every player’s life when he decides — or his agent tells him — to write his life story. A couple of interviews with a ghostwriter later and hey presto we have 200 pages of guff and absolutely zero interest from the book-buying public. Wayne Rooney has already written two books. That’s one more than he’s read.

	Nº46: Autobiographies
	There comes a time in every player’s life when he decides — or his agent tells him — to write his life story. A couple of interviews with a ghostwriter later and hey presto we have 200 pages of guff and absolutely zero interest from the book-buying public. Wayne Rooney has already written two books. That’s one more than he’s read.

	Nº46: Autobiographies
	There comes a time in every player’s life when he decides — or his agent tells him — to write his life story. A couple of interviews with a ghostwriter later and hey presto we have 200 pages of guff and absolutely zero interest from the book-buying public. Wayne Rooney has already written two books. That’s one more than he’s read.

	Nº46: Autobiographies
	There comes a time in every player’s life when he decides — or his agent tells him — to write his life story. A couple of interviews with a ghostwriter later and hey presto we have 200 pages of guff and absolutely zero interest from the book-buying public. Wayne Rooney has already written two books. That’s one more than he’s read.

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